wrote this a few yrs back... disgust over israel's continuing policy of attempting to make peace with and give away land to our bitter enemies... arab terrorists... enjoy the biting satire...
i attempted to get caroline glick to read this and use this in her little on-line skits but no reaction from her or them... latma tv... oh well... but this would be a perfect shaming of the slime ruining israel... running her into the ground... have a look...
Fw: the manual for tolerable terrorism according to dov weisglass...
Subject: the manual for tolerable terrorism according to dov weisglass...
yes indeed folks we heard this here first on arutz7 last june when chief of staff, dov weisglass conferred with american jewish "leaders" to inform them that israel was working furiously to get hamas and the other jew-killers along with israeli citizenry to agree to accept a "tolerable level of terrorism" so that negotiations with our mortal enemies could resume... remember this?
well... in the spirit of this continuing policy and amazingly callous effort to get us to go along with and countenance jewish death and murder as an acceptable way of co-existence and fact of life in our homeland... we herein offer some much needed guidelines...
no bus bombings after a successful settlement raid that kills two or more jews...
no suicide-bombers in malls for a week after a bus bombing...
targets are to be confined to adults... 12 for girls/women and 13 for boys/men...
however... in the sad event that a baby or child is blown to bits or shot to death... then no raids or bus bombings for at least three weeks...
all good terrorists should endeavor to kill jews only in small numbers... no more than four or five at a time... however... after a major blood-letting better limit subsequent murders to only one or two a week for the next month or so...
of course there are no limitations on idf and settler targets because afterall they are legitimate enemy combatants...
no more than five bus bombings per annum...
and when they do occur please try to limit the collateral damage by reducing the magnitude of the bomb... burnt and headless jewish corpses draped outside of windows are bad for pr as they remind too many survivors of nazi concentration camps of the horrors that they endured... wait another ten or fifteen years for the rest of them to die out and then this imagery will no longer be so offensive...
and naturally it goes without saying that rat poison and nails within bombs are extremely damaging to the peace process and are to be avoided at all cost when constructing blast-belts... please replace these two items with less lethal and less savage and hateful substances and objects...
on the whole there should not be more than 50 total violent outbursts in any single week... this list of barbarism includes sniper shootings... grenade throwing... homemade missle launchings... and various and assundry run-of-the-mill... garden (desert) variety... rock hurlings and molotov cocktail tossing events...
no more than two holiday attacks in any one jewish calendar year... calendars for the next several years have already been dispatched to your terrorist organizations' executive offices to aid you in your advance planning and plotting...
shabat slaughterings should likewise be kept to a bare minimum... say about ten every six or seven months...
and just to stay on our good side... as a sign of good faith that you intend to abide by these rules for the most part... wherever and whenever convienient for you... how about releasing to us the deceased bodies of those jews which you still have in your midst from your many captive-taking ventures and kidnapping projects... the live ones you may retain for your continued torturing pleasure... but we so enjoy avelut... a good leviah (funeral) and the shivah (mourning) period that follows... so couldn't you please be so kind as to help us out here... just this once...?
anyway... happy terrorising! i hope these guidelines are helpful and useful... ta... nik.
nikmatdam
l.a. ca.
nikmatdam is a rabbi in california...